Today I am tired because yesterday I did what turned out to be “too much”. Of course during the “doing” I didn’t think of the possibility of too much; I was simply doing what needed to be done. My day started at 6:00a.m and ended at approximately 2:00a.m this morning. Then I was back up again at 6:15 to continue “doing”. I look back at yesterday with no regrets, because things got done. Everyone’s request to me was met. I slept -briefly, but slept nonetheless. And I’m tired. with Purpose.
and so I think….
how did they do it??? our ancestors. the slaves? how did they do it all?!
no cars. no ac. no down-feather comforters. no leather jackets with wool lining. no boots. no maxi-pads or tampons. no diapers and wipes. no baby powder. no deodorants. no pocketbooks/handbags to put them in. no Dove body wash. no bath and body works lotion/mist/perfume. again I say: no maxi-pads or tampons! HOW. DID. THEY. DO. IT?! No marvelous wedding ceremony. no amazing reception venues. no honeymoon for days. Everything that needed to be done, got done right where they were. right where they stood. right where they worked. And somehow it got done. all of it. all the requests/expectations were met daily. It got done.
no headphones plugged into some device so small and convenient, yet so huge so as to give you the sounds you needed to get through the day. the music was there. within them. their hearts and minds. their souls. Songs lived. filled. the “holes in their souls”. music. prayer. hope. faith. filled the holes left by the children/spouses/parents/friends taken away.
and the women. those women. our women. the amazing, marvelous, miraculous, magical, spectacularly beautiful, strong, divinely powerful women. They did it all. without the leather jackets with wool lining, boots, maxi-pads or tampons or pain-relievers. without the diapers and wipes. without the baby powder. and no pocketbooks/handbags to put them in. no Dove body wash. no bath and body works lotion/mist/perfume. These astoundingly superior women got their work done, with the baby tied to their backs, and the toddler at their feet. They breastfed their own and the ones not even in their bloodline. They helped deliver the babies and tend to the sick. all this sometimes in one day. laid their babies down to rest. prayed over and for them. and possibly got an hour or two of rest themselves. Then got right back up and did it all again. These women made the choice many times over to run for the unknown/unfamiliar freedom? or “stick to the evil you know”? these decisions… what’s best for them? for their children? How did they do it? daily? These women. These stunning, intense, brilliant, indestructible, fervent women. They did it all.
So today I am tired. With Purpose. and I give honor and gratitude to my ancestors, for being steadfast. Sonorous. Allowing this strength to ring out from generation to generation. Nothing I do compares to what they’ve done, but I do know I couldn’t do/accomplish any of this , had it not been for ALL that they did. Had it not been for their determination, tenacity and Love for themselves, their children, their children to come, the children unknown.