believe him

you met a guy.  this guy is one of the many that you smile and say hello to during your daily routine.  one day he finally stops and asks your name. conversation happens. you become a part of each other’s daily communication.  From the start, he tells you “listen, I’m not looking for a relationship (BELIEVE HIM); I’m not even trying to push for a friendship (BELIEVE HIM). I just want to get to know you and see where it leads.” TAKE IT AS FACE VALUE.  Don’t try to cipher what he could mean or what it might change to after a month.

Now, me? I hear it. I say, “Sir, we just met.  please don’t assume that I’m looking for anything from you”.  I hear it for what it is.  “Girl, don’t apply him seriously at all.  He’s not looking for anything. Has absolutely no intentions towards you. Respect that.  Choose wisely how you proceed. Keep him at a very safe distance.”  But that’s just me.

However, I know of women who -at “hey what’s your name?”- start matching his last name to their first name.  Whyyyyyy? all the man said was “hey, what’s your name?”.  To him, he simply can now say “hey Kim, how are you today?” instead of the generic “how are you?”.  Or “Hi Tonya, good to see you. Enjoy the rest of your day.”  But some of us, we’ve already figured how to introduce him to the parents and planned a dinner so our closest friends can meet him.  And then we get so heart broken when we make ourselves so available to him that he gets tired of us after a week and avoids you like the plague in the hallways.  We take the joy out of the “hunt” or the chase.  We block them from doing what comes naturally to them. No need to go duck hunting when the duck is waiting for you at your car when you leave work.  No need to go bear hunting when the Bear is friending you (and some of your friends) on all your social network pages.

Ladies, when he says “I’m not looking for anything right now” BELIEVE HIM.  Don’t make yourself available for when he decides that his “right now” has passed.  Carry on with your day. Move on with life as usual.  Honor his honesty.  Save yourself the unnecessary bs.  Try not to set a wedding date at “hello”.

Good day.



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