my soul is screaming

…for the pain of the loss of our children
15yr girl found at the side of the road
15yr old boy found trapped under an SUV
15yr old boy leaving a party with his friends shot by police

my soul is screaming

what is happening?!
why can’t they be allowed to live?!
why is it so easy to take their lives?!
why aren’t they valued?!
why did you not THINK before you acted?!
did you go grab something to eat after you threw her out your car and kept going?
did you sleep after you left the truck ON the boy?!?!
did you write a report that justified your shooting of yet another black youth?!
did you forget that you were a child once? a child filled with hopes and dreams and goals? a child that made promises to himself? a child that wanted to be loved and valued and validated?! how could you take that away from them?!?!?! from us?!

mom can I go with my friends…to the school dance…to the party…to hang out…cause it’s been a long week and we’re all tired from studying and tests and quizzes and we all just need a break…so can I?”  and my soul screams “NO! because you are MINE and I love you and I CAN’T LOSE YOU and these uncaring bastards out in the streets don’t care about you! STAY HOME. NEVER LEAVE! I’ll keep you safe!”… but my heart sees and understands… and my mouth says “yes baby. just text me. and be safe. and don’t take any moment for granted. and be very aware of your surroundings. and be safe.” and you pray with them before they leave and you pray while they’re gone. and you pray a prayer of thanks when they return…because they returned. and you thank God for protecting them and for bringing them back.

then you listen to the news and you’re reminded of the sadness and the hurt and the pain of the mothers, burying their children and you know that it’s ass-backwards because it goes against the “natural order of things” and what is that anyways? the “natural order of things“.  is there order? or is there just life and death. and you simply deal the best way you know how? because now, there are too many parents burying their young, vibrant children whose lives were taken mercilessly… and my soul is screaming…


soul cry2



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