I writing today -not because I had a sweet desire to to write like I usually do…I write because it’s a part of my process to carry on. I didn’t show up at my dad’s church for father’s day because I was excited to drive from 40 minutes on Sunday morning, but because it’s a part of my process to carry on. I stayed home all of Saturday not because there was nothing to do, but because it was my one day to not carry on….and yet, I carried on…because regardless of what’s happening, my baby still expects me to be mom. “Mom, I’m hungry. Mom I want my milk. Mom, let’s read. mom let’s dance.” I carry on. I worked from home on Friday because there was so much to do locally…..I needed to carry on. I didn’t drive to work on Thursday morning because I am oh so strong, but because I know I needed to carry on. This was not the time to pause.
When the front left bumper of his car collided into the passenger side of mine on Wednesday….. I stopped. I thought, my baby is in the car with me. Everything stopped. in that moment that felt like many minutes, was only a few seconds. I stopped. I pulled over and saw that she was just fine, still playing with her tablet. Just as calm as ever. Called 911. Followed their instructions. I remained so calm. And then
I carried on.
He pulled over. But he didn’t wait around for the police to arrive. I got no information from him. My family/friends were mad at him for me, but more so grateful that baby and I were safe. My daughter’s father just happened to be passing right by me moments after this happened…..stayed with me and baby through the process. Made sure we were alright. After the police left, then he left. And then I carried on.
I got home and told my brother and my daughter what happened, got on the phone with the insurance company, submitted my claim. While I was on the phone with them I figured “why not feed the two birds out of the same bowl?” so I asked and was connected to the other department and I added my daughter -and her car that she just got- to my insurance. I need to know that -heaven forbid- she gets into a wreck, she’s covered. Then I bathed and fed my baby. and, I carried on.
I forgot to eat…not until 24hours later…but I went through the motions. The next day I got up and came to work. I wanted no parts of the usual, but I felt I needed to go support my friend as he gave his speech and I needed to be here for the ice-breaker. Once that was done, I was done. I continued through the motions for the rest of the day…. I carried on.
My experience was minor. The baby and I are fine. There was no trauma. The people that I have to deal with -from the officer who responded to the adjusters- are all God sent. I’m not mad at the young man who left the scene….who left us behind….I have to believe that he had his reasons to not want to deal with the police. I only pray that he’s alright.
I am not here to give you any insightful words on how to carry on. I have no words of wisdom on the paths to take. What I know is every experience offers choices on how to react and how to carry on. I can’t tell you how to do that. I only can tell you that with great people in your life, true love, absolute support, you too can carry on.