Who coined this term? Why did it become so popular? Why is it so well-received?
Here’s the story in my head:
One day, there was a wonderful black woman on her way from work to get home and continue her wonderful life. On this particular day, she decided to stop at the store because one of her wonderful dependents called and requested she picked up something that was absolutely necessary for living that particular evening. So -as usual- she complies. This wonderful woman had worked 10hour days that week in effort to meet very important deadlines for projects. So she stops at this store and gets out her car and walks her walk. The walk that says I am tired and overwhelmed but you will never know it because I am working these heels like I just stepped out of your favorite magazine. Now, normally, this wonderful woman is bubbly and welcoming and warm and approachable. However, on this day, she is tired. No other word to describe it; she’s just tired. So she enters and smiles the “I got this” smile and proceeds to whatever aisle that holds the product requested. There’s a man in this store who notices this wonderful woman. He notices that she’s not noticing him. He -of course- who is also wonderful. He is also desired by many. So, for her to not notice him, something must be wrong. So he positions himself to be noticed, and she does. notice him. She is not there for whatever his expectations are though. She is on a mission: to purchase the requested product and proceed to her destination of home. Her smile doesn’t say “omg! he’s noticing me! let me get ready for whatever wonderful words he’s concocting in his mind right now“. No, instead her smile -if visible- simply says “hello. I see you standing there and I wish you the best in your endeavors“. Well, this man, who is also wonderful sees that smile as “please walk away and don’t f**k with me today. I’m not in the mood for you or your bs pickup lines.”
Now, if Mr. Wonderful could simply step past his own fears, approach her with “good afternoon. you have a beautiful smile. how are you today?” that would have made Ms. Wonderful stop and say “good afternoon, thank you so much. I’m doing well. how are you?” which would lead to a quick dialog and even possibly a conversation.
No, instead Mr. Wonderful got intimidated somehow and grabbed hold of the fear of rejection, opted out of approaching Ms. Wonderful and then mentally diagnosed her with “resting bitch face“. Meaning, “she looked like she got an attitude and no one wants to deal with that“. He then went on home and told his wonderful friends about this moment and told them about his diagnosis of her “resting bitch face” which, of course, they all understood because they too have succumbed to their fear of rejection and opted out of approaching many Ms. Wonderfuls over time. So this diagnosis of “resting bitch face” made all the sense to them all.
Now, what if she had diagnosed him with “little dick courage“. Meaning something within these wonderful men made them “shrink” into themselves and run from possibilities instead of becoming mentally and emotionally erect and approaching her. Which could have resulted in a “conversational quickie” that could have eventually led to a physical and psychological union.
But nope. The woman gets the blame for the failure in making a possibility a reality.
“Resting bitch face” is a foolish phrase created to help men opt out of dealing with (possible) rejection.
Have I used the term. Yes. Will I stop? done.
Ladies, it’s not you. Not this time. It’s them.
Men, it’s not us. It’s you. I promise not all of us are bitches. Roses have thorns. Don’t avoid the rose bush. Just pick carefully.