by Lori Lakin Hutcherson (@lakinhutcherson) According to ESPN, Nigeria will be represented in the Winter Olympics by the African nation’s women’s bobsled team, which qualified for the 2018 Games in PyeongChang, South Korea. Driver Seun Adigun and breakpersons Ngozi Onwumere and Akuoma Omeoga completed the fifth out of the five required qualifying races and became the […]
I was talking with someone this morning and she said “I have to confess something…” of course, being who she is I figured the confession wouldn’t be anything I needed to take a seat for. So I walked and listened. At the end of the confession I asked “so what’s the resolution?” to which she giggled and replied “oh there is none” which made me laugh. I laughed because I expected a “well, we figured it would instead be best to…..”.
So I laughed, but I got me to thinking: confession without resolution is simply a statement. I believe if you confess something, it’s something that you are more than likely not proud of. Which as a result, will require some kind of change on your part.
eg: If you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Christ died for you and that He is Lord, you are saved. As a result, your mindset and lifestyle requires positive change.
another example: “I’ve been ummmm doing this craziness for a couple months now.” resolution? now that it’s been told, you either quit doing it OR be at peace that it’s out in the open and quit living in secret. Either way, a change is required on your part.
example 3: your medication isn’t working as it should….are you taking it as prescribed? are you drinking alcohol along with or instead of taking your meds? Confession: yea, I’ve been drinking just the same and most times opt out of taking the meds so I can drink. [insert V8 headsmack here]
resolution: quit drinking alcohol and take the meds so you can get better.
the moral of this story is: if you are going to confess, prepare to come up with a resolution.
Be Loved, Beloved.
There is something -a great feeling- when you finally get what you’ve worked so hard for: a degree, a position in your career, a car, a house, a vacation, a love.
Ever heard of the story of Jacob and Rachel in the bible? Jacob saw Rachel out and about one day, had a quick conversation with her, and basically fell in love (when a man knows…he KNOWS) went and struck a deal with Rachel’s dad. the dad said work for me for 7 years and then you can get to marry Rachel…. and Jacob worked. Seven years passed and on the wedding night the dad basically said “yeah, no. you gotta marry the older one first…work 7 more years THEN you can have Rachel.” So Jacob worked. and FINALLY got Rachel. He worked FOURTEEN YEARS to get Rachel. Of course back then they were living till they were 800/900 years old, so 14 years wasn’t nuthin. But still, he didn’t put in two weeks of work, he worked for YEARS to get RACHEL. showed her and her daddy he was serious. His love was real. The story following is filled with drama and hurt…but Jacob LOVED Rachel. Why? Because that’s who he wanted. SHE was his aim and goal.
Now what if the story was turned. Rachel saw Jacob, ran home told her dad “I saw him! The man I want to marry!!! Please daddy! Please please please make this happen!!!” Jacob wouldn’t have to work no where as hard for Rachel and probably wouldn’t have loved or appreciated her half as much. Why, cause she made it easy. He married Leah cause he had to. He didn’t work for Leah. she was handed off to him. Leah did everything she possibly could to gain is favor…be his favorite. But Jacob LOVED RACHEL. SHE’S who he worked hard to get.
Moral of the story: Ladies, you don’t have to grab your spears, bows and arrows “cause he takin to long“. Whether it be online or In Real Life, set the trail. Leave your tracks. leave your “scent”, then let him find you. and of course, don’t just surrender at first site. Come on now. Let him work a little. I don’t care how modern times are now, or how “things have changed”. As far as the pursuit of love, things remain the same. Men are hunters in search of “THE one”. The harder the catch, the “sweeter the victory“.
Choices to make: you can either be Leah or Rachel. the lazy duck in the woods, or the daring tiger.
Beloved, Be Loved.
is what you grant me.
when I see your face…perfect. absolutely perfect in my eyes.
sudden poetry is what you gift me
whenever I hear you speak
so many words. such understanding. like you’ve been here before
sudden poetry is what you hand me
whenever you hold my face
“look at me”….”listen”…”I love you. so much”
sudden poetry is what you bless me with
each time you say “good morning”. “Amen”. “good night”.
I am selfish. I know. I embrace this because
this is the only part of my life where that word can truly be applied to me.
I sit at work and I think about you. suddenly.
I wonder what you’re doing
I count the hours as they past because
after a while I get to see you
listen to your stories
supply your demands
I am selfish about you
Baby look at me. Listen. I love you. So much
As I listened to this TED Talk it got me thinking…”what is my color of Love?” which led me to thinking “what is your color of Love?” Is it Red/Pink as it refers to Valentine’s day? is it the colors of the rainbow as it refers to “Orlando Strong”? Is it Black for all the many possible reasons we can find? Our heritage, our skin, our culture, our history, our Africa -the Motherland? Is it yellow, as this is the neutral color: don’t know if it’s a boy or girl? buy yellow. Is it white, as it refers to purity…not tainted in any way? ….
This then brings me to: “what is your color of hate?” Is it Red as it refers to bloodshed and pain? Is it the colors of the rainbow as it refers to what you believe is wrong or sinful? Is it black for all the many possible reasons they can find?…
If you could paint your house or your room in the color that represented Love to you, what would that color be?
Be the love you need.
Enjoy the TED Talk below.
Nabila Alibhai: Why people of different faiths are painting their houses of worship yellow
Learn more about watching TED Talks on all of your favorite platforms: https://www.ted.com/about/programs-initiatives/ted-talks/ways-to-get-ted-talks
Let me start off by saying that I AM A STRONG BLACK WOMAN. I can do…………………………………….. and ………………………………………… plus…………………………………….. all by myself. LIKE. A. BOSS. Tell me I “can’t” do something. as the kids say, BET. Let me show you just how I can do that, plus extra.
I AM A PHENOMENAL WOMAN.
That’s right. I don’t need anyone to tell me that.
I AM A GREAT MOM.
Correct. I don’t need anyone to tell me that either.
I GOT THIS. ALL. OF. IT.
Trust and BELIEVE.
But every now and then, I see the need for a husband. That moment when that damn lizard gets in the house and the kids get to squealing and looking at you like “well? you gonna get him and save all our lives, or what??” or that moment when yet another faucet is leaky and you think “@#$%! I’m not paying another person and I’m really not in the DIY mood!” (I’m definitely going to Lowes this evening though) or the car issues…. that’s the thing that gets me most. The car issues. UGH! I want to be able to say “Love, the car is acting weird again. I need you to take it to the dealership and handle it all. cause I just don’t want to.” and for him to say “baby, I got you.“
This. This is what I need.
I don’t want to hear what creative bs the dealership is going to tell me about this car that they JUST told me a a couple weeks ago “it’s still looking good. still breaking in because it’s still fairly new…” Instead of telling me the truth that they sold me a sexy little new shell with sweet features and mechanical functionality that is straight garbage.
Keep in mind: I GOT THIS. I really do. I’m a part of an amazing support system that just falls right in line when needs arise. “what happened?? what do you need? alright I’ll be there. while that’s happening, let’s make sure that ….. is covered as well.” I mean, amazing. We make it do what it do.
But I’m just saying. every now and then……
car issues, plumbing issues, creepy crawlers?
I go up there at least once a week for some meeting or other. and whereas the view from the fourth floor is nice, the view from the 7th floor just seems better…
you know me well enough to know that this isn’t all there is to this.
So here we go
The higher up you go, the better the view becomes. Everything appears smaller. Everything seems to be in order. The view of the highway…the cars seem to be flowing well. you look at the trees and everything seems to be standing strong and in unison. you look across the way at the different constructions going on and you admire how well the city is being developed.
Yes, the view from the top is gorgeous.
However, did you forget how you got there? the path you took that led you to that building that elevated you to that top floor? Or maybe the path you took was not the common path. Maybe you were “flown in”. landed on the rooftop. Either way, take the time to descend. Walk among those working below… Walk through the trees and see how many branches are still laying on the ground…see how many of those trees were actually uprooted and titled… apply this also to the lives of the people in the community. Get in your car and get on the highway that you admired from the top. see how in the “easy flow” of the traffic how many angry, annoyed, impatient drivers there are. The same construction that you were admiring is also the cause of uneasy bumper to bumper traffic…people not certain of which path to take….where the lane ends and a new one begins…do you merge now or wait a little and hope someone lets you in? and that same construction is being done by hard working men and women…in this heat…on this busy highway…with these angry, annoyed, impatient, inconsiderate people…this construction is being done by people…real people…with children and families and friends. This construction is being done by people who are risking their lives to make your travel easier.
Once you’ve experienced what’s happening on the ground floor…once you’ve gotten a better understanding of what’s really happening below you, then go back to the top floor and look again. You’ll see the same things as before, but your perspective will/should no longer be the same.
While President O was in office, they said all manner of evil against him AND his First Lady. They questioned his legitimacy as a citizen, his level of education, they printed crazy caricatures, referred to him AND his First Lady as monkeys/apes…. and neither of them tweeted and fussed. neither of them entertained the bs. why? because both of them were above and beyond the foolishness.
So, tell me why one lady tweets from her own personal account that the current leader is ” a white supremacist who has largely surrounded himself w/ other white supremacists.” and is catching hell for it? Why is the leader griping about this? If it’s not true, ignore it and keep it moving. Why does the leader have so much damn time to entertain the personal opinions of others??? when he was out there disrespectfully demanding to see President O’s birth certificate, he was not entertained. He had to take several seats and simply wait until President O served his term. Why? because President O HAD NO TIME OR INTEREST IN THE TOM-FOOLERY (“Foolery” chosen cause I try not to cuss on this here blog).
So again I ask, why does the current leader have so much time to tweet and throw virtual tantrums???
So I’m listening to my radio yesterday
announcer: …”President Trump will be visiting Florida Wednesday in the aftermath of hurricane Irma…”
me: for WHAT?!?!?! UGHHHH!!! Mr. governor and the mayors and the sheriff’s (even though some are ridiculous) got this. we’re coping… what’s his purpose of coming???
then the simple thought of “well, he’s president…..it’s what they’re supposed to do. let it be.”
yet in mentally I’m doing this:
Who coined this term? Why did it become so popular? Why is it so well-received?
Here’s the story in my head:
One day, there was a wonderful black woman on her way from work to get home and continue her wonderful life. On this particular day, she decided to stop at the store because one of her wonderful dependents called and requested she picked up something that was absolutely necessary for living that particular evening. So -as usual- she complies. This wonderful woman had worked 10hour days that week in effort to meet very important deadlines for projects. So she stops at this store and gets out her car and walks her walk. The walk that says I am tired and overwhelmed but you will never know it because I am working these heels like I just stepped out of your favorite magazine. Now, normally, this wonderful woman is bubbly and welcoming and warm and approachable. However, on this day, she is tired. No other word to describe it; she’s just tired. So she enters and smiles the “I got this” smile and proceeds to whatever aisle that holds the product requested. There’s a man in this store who notices this wonderful woman. He notices that she’s not noticing him. He -of course- who is also wonderful. He is also desired by many. So, for her to not notice him, something must be wrong. So he positions himself to be noticed, and she does. notice him. She is not there for whatever his expectations are though. She is on a mission: to purchase the requested product and proceed to her destination of home. Her smile doesn’t say “omg! he’s noticing me! let me get ready for whatever wonderful words he’s concocting in his mind right now“. No, instead her smile -if visible- simply says “hello. I see you standing there and I wish you the best in your endeavors“. Well, this man, who is also wonderful sees that smile as “please walk away and don’t f**k with me today. I’m not in the mood for you or your bs pickup lines.”
Now, if Mr. Wonderful could simply step past his own fears, approach her with “good afternoon. you have a beautiful smile. how are you today?” that would have made Ms. Wonderful stop and say “good afternoon, thank you so much. I’m doing well. how are you?” which would lead to a quick dialog and even possibly a conversation.
No, instead Mr. Wonderful got intimidated somehow and grabbed hold of the fear of rejection, opted out of approaching Ms. Wonderful and then mentally diagnosed her with “resting bitch face“. Meaning, “she looked like she got an attitude and no one wants to deal with that“. He then went on home and told his wonderful friends about this moment and told them about his diagnosis of her “resting bitch face” which, of course, they all understood because they too have succumbed to their fear of rejection and opted out of approaching many Ms. Wonderfuls over time. So this diagnosis of “resting bitch face” made all the sense to them all.
Now, what if she had diagnosed him with “little dick courage“. Meaning something within these wonderful men made them “shrink” into themselves and run from possibilities instead of becoming mentally and emotionally erect and approaching her. Which could have resulted in a “conversational quickie” that could have eventually led to a physical and psychological union.
But nope. The woman gets the blame for the failure in making a possibility a reality.
“Resting bitch face” is a foolish phrase created to help men opt out of dealing with (possible) rejection.
Have I used the term. Yes. Will I stop? done.
Ladies, it’s not you. Not this time. It’s them.
Men, it’s not us. It’s you. I promise not all of us are bitches. Roses have thorns. Don’t avoid the rose bush. Just pick carefully.