Dear God

It’s Sunday morning and I’m laying here with my toddler fast asleep in my arms. Her tiny hand resting peacefully on my neck. She’s breathing ever so deep and soft. I love her. I love this moment. I thank You.

I didn’t go to church this morning because I didn’t want to. I rather allow her this time. I rather allow myself this time. Monday to Friday is a rush. You blessed me with a job/career. You blessed me with two amazing kids to care for. You blessed me with wisdom in how to manage employment and parenthood. I thank You.

I could have gotten them up and did the Sunday morning rush. Got to church. Stay for an hour. Go through the required/expected meet and greet after….but I really didn’t want to. The house is totally quiet. No tv. No radio. No voices. Just the sweet peaceful sound of my baby sleeping and the ceiling fan. I thank You.

So even though I didn’t give in to the Sunday morning ritual, please accept this moment of quiet thankfulness. It is a beautiful morning. I thank You. My children are safe and healthy. I thank You. My parents are alive and well. I thank You. My siblings and their families are employed and provided for. I thank You. My two amazing sistercousins are blessed in the way You know they needed. I thank You. When the kids wake up, there’s breakfast for them. I thank You. After that we’ll go grocery shopping. I thank You. This evening we’ll meet up with family for dinner. I thank You.

For these things today and all that You continue to do on our behalf, GOD, I thank You.

Reblog: STUDY: Light-Skin Blacks Preferred Over Dark-Skin Ones — News One

As much as we would prefer not to discuss it, skin tone complications of the past still afflict the psyche of present-day America, according to a 2011 study that found people of mixed race are placed below Whites socially, but ahead of Blacks. To be sure, the findings do not isolate the issue to the Black…

via STUDY: Light-Skin Blacks Preferred Over Dark-Skin Ones — News One

when your love is an exception to the rules

she was told “it’ll never work…he’s not the one for you….it won’t last long…I give it 6 months tops.

according to the stars, her sign and his were not compatible at all. Zodiac readings were not very encouraging.

and yet it happened.  they loved so hard and so deep that years later they knew….

it worked.  he was the one for her. she was his safe haven. it lasted for many years. 6 months was simply the beginning.

she gave him her all.  they fought to stay alive. together. beyond the physical, beyond what people saw, there was a spiritual connection between them both that never compared to others. she knew him. felt him. they breathed each other. she knew when something was wrong even without seeing/speaking to him.  she knew his truths and he knew hers.

the stars said “no. not a good match” yet he reached beyond them and planted heaven inside her.

he loved her deep.  deeper than anyone ever understood.  “how can you still remain friends? …after all this?” because their love surpassed their own understanding.

he went deep…into her…deeper than he could understand…deeper than she realized.

he went through hell, hurt, so much sadness. and in the midst of that, she was still able offer him love. smiles. laughter. comfort. peace.

she was his escape.  he was her safety.

years later, they look back and wonder how…

the answer is simple:

their love was an exception to the rules.

 

He brought me flowers…

…and I smiled and said “oh Thank You!” then I asked “what’s wrong? Do you have sad news?” 

Sounds strange right?

See the thing is -even though he knew I loved getting flowers periodically- he said he’s not getting me anything that’s simply going to die in a couple days…said it was a waste of money…said he’d plant me a little rose garden because THAT would last. 

He never got around to planting me that garden.

So a year and a half after going our separate ways, he brought me flowers. 

Too many deaths…too many funerals… Too many flowers after they’re gone…

He brought me flowers. Why? “Because you’re here… able to enjoy them” 

And in that moment instead of looking at him sideways…instead of questioning motives and ulterior motives…I simply said “o.k”, because I understood. He’s lost yet another loved on, been to yet another funeral, saw people place flowers on yet another coffin…and saw that it was a total waste of money…and finally realized that giving someone something that brightens their day -if even for one day or two- that can’t be a waste. 

So, he brought me flowers and I smiled 

– Spend My Life With You”

He asked….but in “that moment” I knew not to take what he said seriously. I didn’t answer.

He asked…but I had just gotten to college. It was the first couple weeks of freshman year. I heard the question on my answering machine when I got in from class. It seemed like a selfish thing for him to do to me… I didn’t answer.

He asked multiple times…I replied “but we’re not in-love with each other”. He said “love would come later”. I really didn’t want that. I left it alone. 

He never asked…just assumed it’s what we “should” do. I knew the timing was bad…..