“If you know your history, then you would know where you’re coming from…”




This is not deep

I just saw one of the most beautiful commercials…. starts off with the dad looking at his newborn through the glass window of the newborn room…the story follows through giving her that first bath, seeing her take her first steps….graduating high school….to seeing her get married…to looking at her once again through the same window, this time she’s holding her own newborn, her husband at her side.

What were they advertising? …. I sat and watched the entire emotional journey. 

Windex. Glass cleaner. 

They got me. 

Told you this wasn’t deep.

A Force Greater than you


I don’t care who you are, or what your religious beliefs -or the lack thereof- are. Just know you didn’t evolve from a fish or a monkey (why are there still monkeys??). Know that there is something far greater, more intelligent, more powerful, more loving, more forgiving -and sometimes more angry- than you. Your God may be a big white man, wearing a long white robe, sporting long white hair and beard sitting on a white thrown. Your God may be a nurturing woman who is continuously birthing newness of life and love into this murderous world.  Your God may be a powerful spirit that holds and controls the universe in itself and takes the form of who you need it to be in the very moment you need it: a mother’s word of love, an offspring’s sweet hug, the well needed words of a best friend, or the redirection of an elder.

Whatever/whoever you believe in, always remember to take the time to acknowledge and honor That Presence and continuous actions of That Power in your life.  You show your gratitude simply by loving yourself enough to live the good life you deserve and by helping others to do the same.

You didn’t “just happen”. You are here by design.

This song is by Tye Tribbett titled “I Need You”.  Enjoy


Resting Bitch Face?

Who coined this term? Why did it become so popular? Why is it so well-received?

Here’s the story in my head:
One day, there was a wonderful black woman on her way from work to get home and continue her wonderful life.  On this particular day, she decided to stop at the store because one of her wonderful dependents called and requested she picked up something that was absolutely necessary for living that particular evening. So -as usual- she complies.  This wonderful woman had worked 10hour days that week in effort to meet very important deadlines for projects.  So she stops at this store and gets out her car and walks her walk.  The walk that says I am tired and overwhelmed but you will never know it because I am working these heels like I just stepped out of your favorite magazine. Now, normally, this wonderful woman is bubbly and welcoming and warm and approachable.  However, on this day, she is tired.  No other word to describe it; she’s just tired.  So she enters and smiles the “I got this” smile and proceeds to whatever aisle that holds the product requested. There’s a man in this store who notices this wonderful woman.  He notices that she’s not noticing him.  He -of course- who is also wonderful.  He is also desired by many.  So, for her to not notice him, something must be wrong.  So he positions himself to be noticed, and she does.  notice him.  She is not there for whatever his expectations are though. She is on a mission: to purchase the requested product and proceed to her destination of home.  Her smile doesn’t say “omg! he’s noticing me! let me get ready for whatever wonderful words he’s concocting in his mind right now“.  No, instead her smile -if visible- simply says “hello. I see you standing there and I wish you the best in your endeavors“.  Well, this man, who is also wonderful sees that smile as “please walk away and don’t f**k with me today.  I’m not in the mood for you or your bs pickup lines.”
Now, if Mr. Wonderful could simply step past his own fears, approach her with “good afternoon. you have a beautiful smile.  how are you today?”  that would have made Ms. Wonderful stop and say “good afternoon, thank you so much.  I’m doing well. how are you?”  which would lead to a quick dialog and even possibly a conversation.
No, instead Mr. Wonderful got intimidated somehow and grabbed hold of the fear of rejection, opted out of approaching Ms. Wonderful and then mentally diagnosed her with “resting bitch face“. Meaning, “she looked like she got an attitude and no one wants to deal with that“.  He then went on home and told his wonderful friends about this moment and told them about his diagnosis of her “resting bitch face” which, of course, they all understood because they too have succumbed to their fear of rejection and opted out of approaching many Ms. Wonderfuls over time.  So this diagnosis of “resting bitch face” made all the sense to them all.
Now, what if she had diagnosed him with “little dick courage“.  Meaning something within these wonderful men made them “shrink” into themselves and run from possibilities instead of becoming mentally and emotionally erect and approaching her. Which could have resulted in a “conversational quickie” that could have eventually led to a physical and psychological union.
But nope.  The woman gets the blame for the failure in making a possibility a reality.
Resting bitch face” is a foolish phrase created to help men opt out of dealing with (possible) rejection.

Have I used the term. Yes.  Will I stop? done.

Ladies, it’s not you. Not this time. It’s them.

Men, it’s not us. It’s you.  I promise not all of us are bitches.  Roses have thorns.  Don’t avoid the rose bush.  Just pick carefully.

rose bush

I needed this…

Hotel room all to myself just because: check

Top floor room all the way from “the noise” of it all: check. (How did he know that’s what I needed? Maybe I just looked like I wanted to be left alone).

Bottle of Bailey’s Chocolate Cherry: check (girl at the store said me getting carded was a compliment cause I “don’t look over 30”. This kid totally made my day)

A brand new glass cause I refuse to drink my Bailey’s out of one of these plastic cups: check

Pizza and spicy wings: check

Cable TV: ckeck

Back to back to back episodes of “Insecure”: check

I needed this. This one night away. From it all. The noise.  No explanation why I needed this night.  No excuses why. No justifications. I’m not here for any of that. All I know is I needed this.  Hell, I might even try watching Game of Thrones  (if I’m awake)

This moment. This entire night.